A World of Kisses

I’m not the first traveler to marvel at the carefree lifestyle of Brazilians. They are always happy. Brazilians are more easily contented than Americans because they have lower expectations. For example, few Brazilians drink their tap water yet no one complains about this inconvenience or the added expense of bottled water.

Brazilians are at ease because they celebrate their fate. They get excited by simple pleasures, like having hot water in the shower without first igniting the gas in the laundry room. Brazilians are cheerful because they're eager to share their good fortune, such as discussing the discount they received from the plastic surgeon for an excellent tummy tuck.

When a Brazilian couple gets married, they have faith that patience will provide for their expanding family, and if not, God will sort things out. Americans expect to accumulate as much as they can to prove their worthiness to God.

Brazilians have a way of welcoming their everyday lives with open arms. They revel in public affection. Women kiss men and other women to say hello and goodbye. In Rio, they kiss on both cheeks. When women speak on the phone or send emails, even at work, they close with “um beijo,” a kiss. Men sign their emails, “abraço,” a hug.

Equally endearing, there is no clearly defined personal space, even in public like the supermarket or the fitness club. In conversation, Brazilians stand close enough to touch each other, as if talking without touching depletes the power of words. It’s typical for foreigners to be offended (or delighted) by incorrect assumptions of territorial breaches or sexual flirtations.

American tourists are equally surprised to see pregnant Brazilian women wearing belly shirts with their enormous stomachs exposed to the sun and fun. It’s not unusual to see men with prosthetic arms and legs wearing short-sleeved shirts and shorts. Life in the US is not so open and blatant.

Even the usually straitlaced Catholic Church in Brazil is more open. The famous annual bacchanalia of Carnaval is a religious holiday, after all. Many Catholic priests practice liberation theology, which circumvents the dictates of the Pope. The liberal priests, who don’t use the ecclesiastical collar, tell their congregants it’s fine to follow the superstitions of their ancestors as long as they live with humility and grace. Church leaders believe helping others less fortunate is the true message of Catholicism.

Many Brazilian Catholics consider US Catholicism to be too conservative, which I find encouraging; however, I wondered if liberation theology had gone too far when I saw a congregant wearing a Star of David. Later I learned that Jews for Jesus weren't in evidence, but rather that the necklace signified only that the woman had a son named David.

The idea that an ancient religious symbol like the Jewish star could be co-opted by fashion was shocking until I remembered a similar sighting in New York years earlier. I was working as a volunteer for a non-profit organization in Chinatown that assisted new immigrants. I was assigned a lovely student who had just arrived from China and whose appetite for learning was voracious, everything from grammar to American slang and how to read a subway map.

Jun was 18 years old and had left her parents behind in China by herself, intending to spend the rest of her life in the United States. She had no siblings, a product of the one child policy.

Jun hoped I would guide her through the only obstacle that stood in the way of her dreams: conquering English. We worked together for many months. Now, ten years later, we are still friends, and she has her bachelor’s degree in architecture, a job, a husband, two children, and a condominium in New Jersey

Jun always wears a gold cross around her neck. It was given to her by her mother when she left China. Jun is not religious. She says it’s common among the Chinese to wear a Christian Cross as a symbol of good luck.

What does it take for an ancient symbol to alter its religious meaning? Perhaps if the Internet can connect the world, why not religion? I’m wondering if the path to contentment lies in opening the symbols of the world to everyone.